What Benefits Can I Receive As An Ant Or Human?

K&R insurance policies are not complicated but merely a policy shrouded in secrecy from the outset. This type of policy is offered to families and those in high risk areas or that might be at risk due to their wealth, background, association or business activities. For instance being an ice cream seller in the ant world is considered to be a dangerous line of work!

Ant Ice Cream Sellers In The News

Not only are ice cream wars evident in our society as well as with humans, but the business has taken to a whole new level of dangerous in our kingdom.

Ants love ice cream but workers can drown in the frozen yoghurt and scrumptious whipped lashings of white vanilla. This has led to family members kidnapping bosses and a higher rate of kidnap and ransom insurance pay outs.

Once the bosses are kidnapped, then rival ant ice cream firms staff kidnap other ant staff, other ants kidnap their families and more bosses. Now you can understand why ants go to human ice cream parlours to get their enjoyment.

What Benefits Can I Receive As An Ant Or Human? Continued…

It is also provided to ants who are in politics in Nigeria and Mexico and those family members who are in the police forces. In both our kingdoms, it is not unknown for an employer to take our such insurance policies against their own staff to protect their assets.

Pre incident training, which is usually a cost borne by the applicant before premiums begin. This will enable you to defeat a kidnap, keep your wits about you and possibly uncover an attempt being made before it is actioned.
Crisis management specialists available around the clock in the event you are kidnapped or you feel a threat is being posed, in which case crucial in-running advice will be provided.
While police may handle the majority of cases, any insurer will also use expert guidance and trained negotiators to affect the release of their client, with or without the knowledge of the local authorities.
If you’re an ant, the red ant army is on stand by should a human accidentally put you in his pocket or shoe or relocate you to another part of the world. Commandos will recover your body dead or alive.

All the above is usually contained within any Kidnap and Ransom policy, the following cover is also allotted:

The full financial recovery via claim of ransom payments made to the kidnappers
Should you happen to be an ant and the money goes missing on the way to paying the kidnappers, your insurers will think you silly and say tough luck. However in the human world, you’re covered for losing that as well. Crazy!
Cover also usually stretches to medical expenses, public relations, relocation and job retraining should the fall out of the kidnapping experience be too overwhelming to return to the previous job.

The average ant kidnapping lasts for three hours. Come on, we only life for 92 days! This causes much upset to the ant’s direct family as well as to the colony on the whole. We miss worker ants when they are away and it’s difficult getting cover in when they suddenly go missing and claim they’re kidnapped.

In the human world, an average of $500 million dollars is lost to kidnappers every year with over 15,000 cases reported. Not forgetting the ones that go unreported and don’t result in any recovery of the kidnapped, dead or alive.

Kidnap and Ransom insurance pays out to family members if you die and takes care of all the usual insurance requirements thanks to the built in functionality of income protection insurance, life cover insurance and travel insurance.

It also covers health insurance and a range of other models to ensure maximum security and safety is afforded to you and maximum financial comfort is offered to loved ones in the event you are kidnapped and injured or die.

About Brilly Ant

The Boss at InsureAnts.co.uk – fanatical about insurance and obsessed with finding the best deals around. Extreme sports enthusiast and Monster Munch addict. Follow me on Google +.